


Where Do Broken Hearts Go

by platonicdagger



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Infidelity, M/M, Non-Graphic Smut, THEY HAVE CUTE KIDS
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-29
Updated: 2015-04-29
Packaged: 2018-03-26 07:36:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3842473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/platonicdagger/pseuds/platonicdagger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes a wedding ring can be too heavy and a white picket fence too suffocating.</p>
<p>or</p>
<p>Phil needs some space from his husband and their two daughters and Dan is really fucking worried.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where Do Broken Hearts Go

**Author's Note:**

> I'm surprisingly proud of this.  
> I finished it at 5am forgive me if it's bad.
> 
> Please leave kudos/comments if you wish and also hit me up at sighphil.tumblr.com

It was supposed to be the coldest night in years, which Dan would say was pretty fucking ironic considering it's also the first night in about four years that Phil had been away for the night. It was always harder to sleep alone, back when they lived in a small London flat with questionable heating, but now it's worse. Now they have a big family home with two kids and a stupidly over-excited dog, and Phil just had to choose the coldest night to decide he needs space. 

 

They hadn't fought, never did really, but sometimes a wedding ring can be too heavy and a white picket fence a bit too suffocating. Phil had decided he needed to take a step back after a weird moment during breakfast where Dan crunched his cereal a bit too hard and the kids were a bit too loud and he just wanted to punch a wall. He had told his husband this of course, and he had just sighed and said he'd be okay for a night. That was probably a lie.

 

-  
A gentle knocking startled Dan from his fitful sleep, he squinted towards the light in the doorway and saw the tiny pouting form of his youngest daughter. She was so small when they adopted her, barely an armful of a baby that didn't even have a name yet, they hadn't known if they should adopt her, considering their first child was three at the time and already a menace. It took Dan five seconds to fall in love with her. It took two minutes and fourty three seconds to convince Phil that they should name her Charlotte Elaine Howell-Lester. Lottie was the best behaved child they could have hoped for, she barely cried as a baby and as she grew up she was the quiet night where her sister Amelia was a tornado of red hair and paint splattered walls, which is why it was so shocking to see her crying in her father's bedroom doorway.

 

'What's wrong sweetheart?'

 

'I had a bad dream,' she whimpered as she climbed up onto the king size bed and into his arms, continuing with a slightly muffled, 'about you and daddy leaving us.'

 

Dan frowned into her sleep-messed brown curly hair and pressed a light kiss to her head, sighing, 'Princess, that would never ever happen.'

 

'Never?'

 

'Not even if I turned into an ugly slimy frog, I would stay right here forever and ever.' he whispered with a gentle smile, leaning back to wipe the tears away as she let out a small giggle.

 

'I would still love you lots and lots if you was an icky sticky frog, and i'm five now so I'm very old enough to cook and clean!' she whisper-shouted triumphantly, which earned her an eye roll from her now quite tired dad.  
He held her tighter, resting his head back on the pillow and getting them settled down for sleep, muttering a quiet 'I love you' before they both fell asleep and slept peacefully until the sun shone through the curtains. The cold night was a lot less cold with his daughter by his side.

 

-

 

Phil still wasn't back by morning. Saturday mornings are stressful, but apparently more so with one pair of hands. He'd finally managed to get the damn dog outside for a run around the large garden and the kids settled in the living room eating breakfast and watching some boring princess show when his phone started ringing, he saw who it was and answered right away, sitting down at the kitchen table.

 

'For fucks sake Louise if you are harbouring my run away husband I swear to god you better tell me now.' he shot out before she had a chance to say hello. 

 

'Well good morning to you too! What are you talking about run away husband? What happened?' she sounded genuinely worried, and Dan knew she was crap at lying so let her off the hook.

 

Sighing, he answered, 'He said he needed space yesterday and just fucked off, I had Lottie in my bed crying at god knows what time this morning saying she had a bad dream about us leaving her and Amelia, what am I supposed to do? What if he's left me?' 

 

'Dan. Calm down. He loves you, there's about seven thousand videos on the internet that show that. He was round here just last week going on about your eyes when I asked him for advice on a dress. Honestly, there's no need to worry.' she chuckled a little and Dan immediately felt a smidgen better, Louise was always the calming influence, even when he almost made a run for it at his own wedding because his hair wouldn't go right. 

 

'You're right, he'll be back. I just don't know if I can forgive him; you don't just up and leave with barely an explanation.' 

 

'It's not like he's gone out and cheated on you, Dan.'

 

'He could have!'

 

'Shut up. Idiot. Have some weetabix and cuddle your children.'

 

And so he did, after ending the call and typing out a quick text to his twatty husband simply stating _If you cheat on me then you get to be the one that breaks it to our angel children and millions of fans, also i get the dog :) come home x_

 

-

 

He spends the day sandwiched between his girls, with the dog curled up by his feet and a selection of Disney films, unfortunately he couldn't bribe the girls into watching one of the classics rather than the fifth version of Frozen they've churned out in the last ten years. He missed Phil, and he felt pathetic. He checked twitter every half an hour to see if one of their stalker accounts had seen him anywhere, ah the perks of fame, and messaged half of his contact list demanding information. 

 

By the time he'd tucked the kids into their warm beds and read each of them a story -- Harry Potter for Amelia, A children's book written by Louise and Darcy for Lottie -- he'd pretty much given up. He knew couples spent longer than a day apart, but the whole situation just wasn't them, not with their children to think about. 

 

He was halfway to tipsy on his second glass of wine and scrolling through twitter when he saw it, clear as day, a picture of his husband pressed up against some woman in a bar, wedding ring mocking him from the hand pushed into her really beautiful hair. He'll later blame it on the wine when asked why he called his brother to come and watch the kids before storming out of the house in his best clothes.

 

He won't blame the rest on the wine, he was stone cold sober for what happened that night.

 

-

 

Two hours after running out of the house, he was being pushed roughly against the wall by a man he was certain was called Adam. All he knew for sure was that this man had bright blue eyes and their tongues worked together perfectly as they kissed in the dirty nightclub toilets, practically rutting against each other. All he could taste was the alcohol on the other man’s tongue and the slight hint of mint that helped to wash away the bitter taste of hurt in his mouth. He could feel the pain and betrayal in his gut but if he tried really hard he could pretend it was arousal and stop the tears from coming. He let himself be lost in Adam. He forced himself to keep his eyes open as the man went down on him, he tried not to enjoy it too much when the other man came on his dimple and smirked in triumph like Phil used to. He ignored his heart screaming for him not to when he slipped his number into Adam's back pocket after cleaning off. 

 

The dim orange glow from the street lights only barely hid his tears as he sat unmoving in his car. He didn't know if he was crying because he fucked up, or if it was because he was cheated on, or if it was that the car felt so much like family, and he didn't know what his family was any more. He had seven missed calls but he couldn't pick up his phone and answer it, just let the tears fall down his cheeks and attempt to drown him in something other than regret.

 

He woke up in his car, with one of the kids travel blankets over him and a dull ache in his neck. The street was awash with people, most of them most likely wondering why a man in his mid thirties thought sleeping in his car on a Saturday night was a good life choice. Dan looked around at the people going on with their lives like his hadn't just come crashing down, allowed himself to wake up properly, and drove home.

 

He'd never understood why they needed a house with six bedrooms, two living rooms, three offices, an actual library and a pool. Phil had insisted, they could afford it thanks to the money from their various radio jobs, ongoing YouTube channels and the few tv shows they did. Dan was never convinced, he didn't like the idea of all the space making it feel less like a home, but they had made it work. Walking into an empty house, with his heart just as empty, he remembered why he wasn't set on the lavish house. It's not a home when you can't hear the melodic laughter of children or the sound of new generation Spongebob way too loud on TV, or the dog running in and out of the house. It wasn't a home as he read the scribbled note from his brother saying he took the kids to their parents house for a while, with a 'p.s fucking sort it out bro'. It wasn't a home as he dragged himself into one of the guest rooms and into one of the few beds in the house that didn't remind him of something that hurts. 

 

-

 

He opened his eyes slowly as the bed dipped beside him, the unmistakable sight and smell of his husband hitting him in the face like a wrecking ball, he immediately moved to get away, but Phil gently stroked his hair and it was as if nothing had happened for a small fraction of time.

 

'Dan, love, please hear me out?' Phil whispered gently, waiting for Dan's answer and taking his furious silence as a response, 'I messed up, I know you saw. I slept with her, but it meant nothing, I was so drunk.. Please don't hate--'

 

'I went to a dirty gay bar and let a man cum on my face because he looked like you,' Dan huffed out, not wanting to hear a whole speech full of lies and excuses, 'You left me here and our baby was scared, I was scared. You didn't even really tell me why you went and then you were all over some woman, you weren't even smart enough to take your fucking ring off.' 

 

Both of them were crying, and he couldn't remember when it started but the tears fell between them like a mixture of all the years of love that were tainted the day before. Phil continued to stroke his hair and whispered, 'I still love you, and you still love me. It's okay, we can get through it.' 

 

Dan seriously doubted that, but he nodded softly and closed his eyes, fighting against the bile rising in his throat as Phil leant forward to kiss his head. Broken hearts are a tricky thing, sometimes they go to seedy nightclubs and forget about it underneath someone else, sometimes they go to the bottom of a tub of ice-cream and a thousand trashy romance films and sometimes they pretend it's all okay and stick with someone to save the hearts of others.


End file.
